RSS Feed

Tag Archives: presence

On Grace and Healing

Posted on

The grace that is the health of creatures can only be held in common.
In healing the scattered members come together.
In health the flesh is graced, the holy enters the world.
~ Wendell Berry

This quote is from “Healing” a piece in Berry’s What are Humans For?

It’s a question that I have been contemplating, and the excerpt by Gary Snyder posted recently at Turtle Rock Farm raised it again. Snyder talks about the beings of the world as having been called forth by their fellows and by the larger creative, evolutionary process. I encourage you to read it and ponder. There’s a similar idea here in “Healing” — that health, in its broadest sense, arises from the connections and relationships within the whole. And that this wholeness is holy.

I want to write more about this healing, but I’m going to be doing it at another blog. My new blog will be more focused on nature and spirit. On discovering one’s true nature in nature. On inscendence.

I have been deeply inspired by the way other bloggers are exploring this theme, mostly implicitly. It just comes out of the way they are being in the world. So beautiful. Many thanks to Genie, Kai, Maximillian and Mike, to name just a few, for the way they share their gifts of reverence and presence. My hope is that my new blog will allow me to add my voice to the same cosmic liturgy.

Thanks for reading soul-in-progress. I’m not sure if I will be posting much here any more. But I’d love to have you join me over at inscendence.

Eyes to See Our Seeing

Posted on
credit: Andreas Krappweis

credit: Andreas Krappweis

To praise the sun is to praise your own eyes.  ~Rumi

This human self-awareness is tricky.  In the context of our mainstream culture, where the goal of life seems to be to acquire material things or status markers that will make us feel good (i.e. safe), self-awareness gets hijacked and tethered to superficial pursuits.

We can get lost in it, ending up in a blind alley of narcissism and selfishness. I think spiritual teachings that encourage us to focus purely on transcendence can lead us to a similar sort of place, though the accompanying narrative is more meaningful. There’s a feeling of detachment and isolation in the notion of moving beyond the messiness of life. And we can become obsessed with our progress in doing so.

In both cases, our self-awareness seems to be put in the service of answering that very human question:  “How am I doing?”

In contrast, Rumi’s version of self-awareness reflects a profoundly intentional embodiment, connectedness, and sense of the greater unfolding in which we are embedded, and its beauty and value. I think we are self-aware in order to praise the sun. And to praise our self-awareness in the midst of that appreciation and delight. I think we are self-aware because it allows a special kind of gratitude. What a privilege to dwell inside that thank you.

Inscendence

Posted on
credit: Barun Patro

credit: Barun Patro

We must also remember that we are the Spirit’s intention, each of us. Each of us is an expression of Incomprehensible Holy Mystery’s intentionality, its effort to engage in the world, to become more present in the world, to tangibly incarnate a greater portion of itself in and for our Earth community.  ~ Judy Cannato

When we really start to understand what Judy is talking about it becomes all but impossible to live without reverence. And attention. Then we begin to know that we are always moving in and through wholeness, connection, and ultimately, love. Then we begin to appreciate that way of knowing that is not conceptual, but perceptual, embodied, experiential.

We have forgotten. But we can remember.

Leaving Presence

Anyone who pays attention to their insides eventually notices the inner human impulse to constantly move out of the present moment. I’ve been focusing on this a lot this lately and have observed two different aspects within this movement.

One has to do with a core need to control everything. My inner control freak is an absolutely fundamental part of my pattern of being in the world. I notice that I have a compulsion to manage, organize, and finesse every object, occurrence, and structure of reality. My mind wants to touch everything and shape it. This tendency continually takes me off the flowing path of presence and down little side trails.

Of course a lot of this mental activity is necessary and unavoidable. But I definitely overdo it. I recognize that it’s not helpful to give myself a hard time about it. Instead, I just notice when I’m doing it and create a little distance from that part of myself, rather than collapsing into it.

A second thing that’s going on is what A.H. Almaas describes as the failure to value the present moment. In other words: the failure to value direct contact with my True Nature, when this is probably the only thing of ultimate value. On the face of it, this sounds obvious. But lately I have been working with the exercise of inquiring into what really, deeply, relentlessly prevents me from loving and fully settling into the present moment. What is actually going on? What do I believe or assume that keeps me from groking that being in contact with my True Nature is what gives existence meaning?

As I see those structures and beliefs operating I feel a sense of embarrassment, surprise, and amusement. And it helps. For example, I find that I believe that only certain types of activities are important and valuable. So if a particular moment is not associated with that sort of activity, I don’t sense its value. I really do believe that. And if I examine that belief more deeply, I learn all kinds of things about the way it is shaping my life.

As I write this I sense that it all sounds obvious and simple. But like any practice, it really means nothing until applied in real experience. Only a small part of us functions in the abstract (though often it seems like it’s our favorite part – ha!). Noticing my beliefs and conditioning in-process creates space. I don’t have to then turn them into problems or projects. Just noticing is enough. When I bring them into awareness they shift on their own.

Sharing the Good Word

credit: Michael Faes

credit: Michael Faes

I’ve been wanting to make good on my promise to share newly-discovered blogs that I am enjoying. So here are a few that I want to recognize and recommend:

Apocalypse Poet – Original poems from an irreverent young voice. Sometimes playful, sometimes cranky. Always alive.

Daily Echo – OK. I’m a sucker for blogging by dogs. What can I say? I find Sue’s “Notes from a Small Dog” riveting. Cutacious.

The Direction of Intention – daily observations from a complicated artist/storyteller/nomad. Smart and sticky writing.

Life As Improv – Peripatetic forays in nondualism and the nature of consciousness. With improv inspirations and reflections on motherhood.

I look forward to discovering and sharing more blogs like these. And I want to say thank you to all of you bloggers who bring such presence and authenticity to your offerings. I value your voices. I would like to honor your efforts with this poem by David Whyte, which has been much on my mind lately. For you:

Loaves and Fishes

This is not
the age of information.

This is not
the age of information.

Forget the news,
and the radio,
and the blurred screen.

This is the time
of loaves
and fishes.

People are hungry
and one good word is bread
for a thousand.

Trust Me

welcome mat

As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.

~  Goethe

I think Goethe was right when he said this. And rather than feeling uplifted, it makes me melancholy. I think lack of self-trust is the core reason why most of us (myself included) don’t really know how to live. What to do.

Moreover, it seems that everything in our culture conspires to keep us in self-doubt, looking always outward for our marching orders. For our significance. Validation. Identity. Parents and teachers are well-meaning, but I believe a lot of our early obedience-training reinforces us in a deep disquiet: that we are basically not okay, and we’re supposed to be doing something different.

So we form strategies for dealing with this and they typically involve either conforming or rebelling. Conforming tends to be the more successful option in terms of getting the goodies that our culture offers. But regardless of which strategy we choose, we still end up with a weird existential anxiety. When the soul starts calling us to authenticity, whichever pattern we’ve fallen into is inevitably in the way. Sooner or later on the soul journey, some disassembly is required.

Old patterns die hard. Self-trust and self-acceptance do not come easily. Especially to conforming types. But this is what the soul demands. It will have its way with us. And for that may we be grateful.

As I loosen the rusty bolts on my own patterns I like to read Derek Walcott’s poem “Love After Love” for encouragement. It helps.

The time will come
When, with elation,
You will greet yourself arriving
At your own door, in your own mirror,
And each will smile at the other’s welcome…

On Losing the Plot

Posted on
credit: Ann_Mei

credit: Ann_Mei

David at the Direction of Intention likes to tell stories. But not so much the regular kind most people tell these days. His stories are more like the old ones that lead us out of our everydayness, to somewhere rich and mysterious. His prompting has me in a general wondering about the power of story.

I think these days when we tell stories we are usually being narcissistic. When people talk about their story they are generally referring to the set of beliefs they have adopted, and the way they tend to ossify into a narrative. Such stories take on a lot of inertia and tend to morph into the proverbial comfort zone. And so we find ourselves rattling around inside a cliché. And sometimes we look for ways to shift it, or release ourselves from it. But to what?

There’s value in understanding this type of story, to be sure. But I think that without a larger context, we can become lost in loops of narcissism. I suspect the reason we collapse into these looking glass stories is because we have fundamentally lost the plot. I mean this in the deepest possible sense.

For the most part, human beings no longer have a viable cosmology. A real Story. We no longer share and shape a Sacred Story about our being and becoming. The holy meta-narrative. Not really. We have some limited chapters that we have pretended are something more, but many of us have noticed that they are worn and thin, and we have lost our enthusiasm for them.

Thomas Berry wrote at length about our predicament. As he saw it, we are caught between the religious traditions that abandoned cosmology in favor of narratives of personal redemption and transcendence, and the false cosmology of rationality and science that spews forth a litany of facts without saying much about what they ultimately mean. The problem is that neither offers much guidance for our living-breathing soul journey in this more-than-human world.

We have all heard the stories about nirvana, enlightenment, ascension, the New Jerusalem, Paradise, the rapture, etc. They all celebrate some place other than where we are. Yet in our souls and bones we know that this mighty moment is also precious. The now of this body, this breath, this green leafy world, is miraculous and infinitely full. We know that when the burning bush ordered Moses to take off his shoes, the holy ground it spoke of was not in the promised land. We are standing on it now.

Plants are the Ultimate Lightworkers

Posted on

the sacred datura

It’s been quiet around here lately. That’s because outdoors it’s high summer and the world is a joyous explosion of photosynthesis. I’m a gardener.

It occurred to me that the time I have spent in the garden has probably been more beneficial than all the years I spent working in the environmental movement. Certainly for me it has been enormously healing. It’s impossible to feel depressed when you’re friends with Fordhook chard. Or watching a hummingbird visit sunset hyssop, dancing in the aroma of licorice and root beer. It’s my version of therapy.

Plants are earth’s original lightworkers. They constantly model the process of transmuting light energy into beautiful, extravagant form. Delicious offerings. Gorgeous gifts. They show me how it’s done. Carefully. Generously. Openly. And each time only once. The aubergine shines in purple perfection and I hoot in delight. Then she says, “now you”. This is what the soul wants.

I like to think e.e. cummings was a gardener. I do know for sure that he was transmuting light when he wrote This Amazing Day:

i thank You God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes…

Yes. I have to go make pickles. Crystallized cucumber light.

aubergine with friends

Sitting in Church

Posted on
church button

Credit: kellyhogaboom

The Reading begins
and I grow warm
in my pew
in my thick overcoat.

This one I’ve heard before.
I remember this Psalm
of unfastened buttons
and abrupt revelation.

That time its meaning
cut through my cocoon
and the shock of nakedness
confused me.

This time your voice
opens a window.
Today
I let the wool hold me
and listen.

~

Persephone’s Path

Posted on

Credit: Michael Wer

We don’t talk much about the underworld any more. The dark realms were such a strong undercurrent in pre-modern consciousness. There were so many stories. And ceremonies. Occasionally, even now, reminders surface. Little sparks and shadows that flicker at the edges of awareness, like the melody of a song that we dreamed long ago. But for the most part, we carry on as though it’s not there.

Society has trained us to be high-functioning in the middle world, now dominated by rationality, consumerism, and the institutions of modernity. Interestingly, though our culture is self-consciously secular, we still have robust traditions that encourage spiritual transcendence. Reaching towards the upper world remains a legitimate part of the human enterprise. But we no longer descend. At least not with clear intention or with the willingness to let the shadows instruct us. When we tumble down the rabbit hole it’s usually because we’ve tripped.

I want to make space in this blog for Persephone’s path – the descent and return. The soul journey often takes quite a few underground detours and I think it’s important to explore that terrain. But “detour” is the wrong word, already implying a bias. Instead, I suspect these are necessary adventures. On Persephone’s path I need to use night language, and the best way to do that is either to speak a poem or tell an old story. So here is a story from Northern Europe. It’s called the Erlkönig and I first heard Clarissa Pinkola Estés tell it.

There was a village at the edge of a forest. People there told stories about a supernatural being called the Erlkönig, who lurked in the forest at night to steal away the souls of anyone who happened to wander out into the woods. One night a man was riding home with his young son on his horse. They were tired. To save time, he decided to go through the forest. As they made their way through the woods, the boy became very afraid. He heard something, and told his father he thought it was the Erlkönig. His father reassured him, saying the Erlkönig did not exist, and all would be well. They rode on. Then the boy saw a figure coming closer, and again he warned his father. But his father said he was just imagining things and scaring himself with foolish stories and nonsense, and there was no Erlkönig. They rode on. But now the boy could see someone right behind them, reaching toward them, and he cried out in terror and the horse panicked and surged ahead at full speed and the man had to use all his strength just to hold on. When they arrived at their home the horse collapsed in exhaustion. And the man discovered that his son was dead.

I think of the man, the boy, and the horse as different aspects of the self. Because he operates purely in the world of rationality, authority, practicality, and the five senses, the man is not able to see the danger or to save his son. The boy – the part of the self that is emotional, open and transparent – is able to perceive the world of shadows and imagination, to see in the dark. The horse, representing nature and the aspect of the self that is connected to the earth, responds both to the boy and the danger.

Our culture trains us relentlessly to be like the man. But the story reminds us to stay connected to the parts of ourselves represented by the boy and the horse – to stay in contact with wonder and wildness. The story calls us not to transcend, but to something else…

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 82 other followers

%d bloggers like this: