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Nonduality and the Weather

credit: Keith M.

credit: Keith M.

Last night my husband and I were talking about nondual teachings again. And then Marga’s engaging post about actualization and the no self really got me thinking. There was a time when I was really into that stuff. I used to hang on Adyashanti’s every word, hoping for the arrival of my own liberation. But for better or worse, I gradually let go of those aspirations.

The paradox and adventure of being human is that while it is true that we are Soul/essence, we have also chosen to show up in limited form. Our primoridal essence is divine, unlimited, and needs nothing. It is simply Beingness. Yet in choosing to show up in this world of limitation we create soul structures. The ego is the vehicle we necessarily construct in order to function in the world of limitation. It is unavoidable. And it’s a pain in the ass. But trying to live without an ego is kind of like trying to live without a body. It’s not really workable.

Many nondual teachings are about returning to primordial essence and bypassing the messy hassles of the ego-body vehicle. If we can step out of form and abide in formlessness, we don’t have to suffer. In other words, for some folks the goal is to die before we die so we can avoid the discomfort of life. Of course it is true that our essential nature is infinite and devoid of suffering. But I think it’s also true that we came here to do more than commit suicide.

Now I don’t want to unfairly suggest that all nondual teachings are about avoidance. Some teachers do address the second core spiritual question of “how shall I live?” (And not confine themselves to the first core question of “who am I?”) Such teachers incorporate a more balanced approach of working with form and formlessness. But I do think there is a lot of what Andrew Cohen calls “pre-modern enlightenment” teachings, where the goal is simply to return to essence and not actually participate in life. This is unfortunate because the world needs our participation. It is also sad because within those approaches there’s often a subtle hatred of form, and it becomes self-directed. As in: I hate my ego and I want to kill it.

My view is that spirituality is really about working with the tension between our unlimited essence and our limited form. That’s the human journey. That’s what we came here to play with. In working with the ego structures I am less interested in suicide and more interested in having a light vehicle.

I love this journey. I am thrilled to be on it. But I want to take the journey on a bicycle instead of in a hummer. On a bicycle I get to go slower, be more receptive, notice more, get to know the terrain, feel my muscles moving, and be out in the weather.

I came here for the weather.

Trust Me

welcome mat

As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.

~  Goethe

I think Goethe was right when he said this. And rather than feeling uplifted, it makes me melancholy. I think lack of self-trust is the core reason why most of us (myself included) don’t really know how to live. What to do.

Moreover, it seems that everything in our culture conspires to keep us in self-doubt, looking always outward for our marching orders. For our significance. Validation. Identity. Parents and teachers are well-meaning, but I believe a lot of our early obedience-training reinforces us in a deep disquiet: that we are basically not okay, and we’re supposed to be doing something different.

So we form strategies for dealing with this and they typically involve either conforming or rebelling. Conforming tends to be the more successful option in terms of getting the goodies that our culture offers. But regardless of which strategy we choose, we still end up with a weird existential anxiety. When the soul starts calling us to authenticity, whichever pattern we’ve fallen into is inevitably in the way. Sooner or later on the soul journey, some disassembly is required.

Old patterns die hard. Self-trust and self-acceptance do not come easily. Especially to conforming types. But this is what the soul demands. It will have its way with us. And for that may we be grateful.

As I loosen the rusty bolts on my own patterns I like to read Derek Walcott’s poem “Love After Love” for encouragement. It helps.

The time will come
When, with elation,
You will greet yourself arriving
At your own door, in your own mirror,
And each will smile at the other’s welcome…

News of the Day

credit: Michal Zacharzewski

credit: Michal Zacharzewski

This morning’s New York Times included an article about a tragic accident involving a zorb. So a zorb is a large, inflatable plastic ball that people get inside of and roll down hills for amusement. Sadly, in this case the zorb took a wrong turn and plunged off a cliff, killing one of the guys inside. (No, not the dudes in the picture. The picture is just to show what a zorb looks like.)

Tragedy aside, what is striking to me is the sheer inanity of our society. What does it say about our culture that young men pay money to bounce around inside a plastic ball in order to feel excitement and aliveness? And what does it say about our culture when the country’s premiere news media outlet deems this newsworthy?

I am reminded of Bill Plotkin’s characterization of contemporary western civilization as “pathological adolescence.” Adolescent, because of our strange incapacity to move beyond the youthful need to individuate, fit in, impress each other, and accumulate trinkets. Pathological, because of the effects of entire generations using dysfunctional strategies to try to satisfy the deeper needs that our culture frantically pretends we do not have.

We have lost the plot. And we don’t seem to know what to do with ourselves any more. Hungry ghosts.

Plotkin writes about the return to a healthy process of human development, and what that might look like. I agree that such work is vital and profoundly spiritual. Afterall, this is the essence of the soul journey – this evolving through time in response to the urging of spirit within us. I am also grateful for the way he emphasizes nature and our relationship to the more-than-human world around us. Without some lived knowing of place, or relationship to nature, we don’t truly belong to the world in any real way. And as human beings I suspect we may need belonging more than anything else.

Our original spiritual/existential wound is separation. We leave the realm of spirit, are born, and find ourselves thrust into a bewildering duality. Learning to trust and belong seem to me to be core tasks of our soul journey. We each long to find and express our own unique way of belonging to the world. Otherwise, we end up like the guys in the zorb: bouncing around in a plastic bubble, hoping to feel something like happiness.

Now what..?

compass

Let joy be your compass.

~ Rumi

Spiraling through Spirit

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credit: NASA

I was intrigued when CNN recently ran a piece about spiritual-but-not-religious folks on their Belief Blog. In spite of the survey data that affirms that up to a third of the U.S. population self-identifies as such, we are all but invisible in the media and popular culture. Yet the fact that the article generated over 9,000 comments demonstrates that there’s clearly an appetite for dialogue on the topic.

As I read, I was immediately disappointed by the author’s tone of judgment and annoyance. I had hoped for better, but the essay was one of those shallow straw man dismemberings that pass for thought pieces in the mainstream media.

Written by Alan Miller, a film director and cultural commentator, the piece characterized the spiritual-but-not-religious as representing “some of the most retrogressive aspects of contemporary society”. Wow. For Miller, such people are relativist flakes who are too undisciplined and narcissistic to commit to either a religious tradition, or atheism predicated on the primacy of science and reason. In his world there are only two options.

The caricature of spiritual-but-not-religious approaches as a “cop-out” appears to be based purely on the author’s personal impressions. Yet there is an emerging scholarship around the questions of what motivates the spiritual-but-not-religious, who they are, and how they fit into the broader landscape of spiritual/religious expression. I had hoped that there’d be some mention of this because I’m quite interested in the findings. Sadly, Miller only bemoaned “the implosion of belief” that he assumes is behind the growth of this group of people.

The reality obvious to anyone paying attention is that there is a lot of diversity within the spiritual-but-not-religious. The move away from mainstream religion is far too complex and widespread to simply dismiss as a “cop-out”. Instead, I think the trend reflects larger patterns in the story of human development, where spirituality is one domain of many.

Spiral dynamics is a useful framework for understanding human complexities and social change, and I think it has something to offer to this discussion. Based on the work of Clare Graves and Don Beck, spiral dynamics is basically a typology of “memes” that humans evolve through. Here are the memes, in the order that we move through them:

Beige – the central value is survival; this meme is characterized by instinct and limited self-awareness (e.g. toddlers)

Purple – safety; tribal, kinship structures, group identity (e.g. fundamentalism)

Red – power; self-interest, conflict, domination, zero-sum game (e.g. Tea Party)

Blue – order; authority, convention, rule of law, stability, tradition, absolutes (e.g. mainstream religions, GOP)

Orange – achievement; reason, science, technology, humanism, the Enlightenment (e.g. academia, atheism, secularism)

Green – community; egalitarianism, post-modernism, relativism, consensus (e.g. peace and civil rights movements)

Yellow – synergy; integration, flexibility, change, flux, interdependence, big picture (e.g. spiral dynamics)

Turquoise – holism; compassion, dependent co-arising, cooperation, unity consciousness (? emerging…)

This is way oversimplified, but it gives you a general idea. Researchers have used quantitative methods (e.g. survey data) to describe profiles of different societies. For example, in northern Europe there’s a larger percentage of the population in orange and beyond, as compared to other places. In the U.S., the center of gravity hovers around blue-orange (ergo our tediously polarized politics – meh). In short, the idea is that as we evolve, individually and collectively, we shift towards the turquoise end of the spectrum (though many of us may never even get to orange). It’s by no means a neat, simple progression. The shifts are uneven and messy, but I’m just trying to give you the gist of it here.

Given this framework, I would argue that spiritual-but-not-religious people start to show up mostly in the orange meme and beyond. As we evolve, many of the structures of the preceding memes stop working for us, and the religions that go along with purple-red-blue are either adapted or left behind. We may still draw on some practices and core beliefs of those religions, but we are no longer willing or able to embrace all of the institutions and dogma.

Because we cut across quite a few memes, there’s a good deal of topography in the territory of the spiritual-but-not-religious. From orange-meme scientist yogis who sense the presence of spirit in unified field theory, to green-meme feminists rekindling relationships with the goddess, to the teenagers of today who seem to intuitively know that all the rules are changing, and yet I AM. There’s a lot going on here, and it’s very much in progress.

From Miller’s orangish standpoint, atheism and big religion are the only options. Folks like him are impatient with all our untidy improvising, experimenting, and synthesizing. They always will be. Unfortunately, they are so busy being right that they don’t see that the path continues on ahead… that there’s more to this journey… more to be revealed and co-created.  Yet the soul calls us to adventure. And so we unfold.

Sitting in Church

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church button

Credit: kellyhogaboom

The Reading begins
and I grow warm
in my pew
in my thick overcoat.

This one I’ve heard before.
I remember this Psalm
of unfastened buttons
and abrupt revelation.

That time its meaning
cut through my cocoon
and the shock of nakedness
confused me.

This time your voice
opens a window.
Today
I let the wool hold me
and listen.

~

Integration vs. Bypassing

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The Flammarion Engraving, 1888

Why is it that certain aspects of being human get such a bad rap in spiritual circles? I’m talking about the usual suspects: the ego, and our proclivities for attachment, strong feelings, and scenario planning.

Recently I participated in a workshop on mindfulness. Interestingly, the idea of giving significant attention to thoughts and emotions was pooh-poohed as neurotic self-obsession. Focusing on moment-to-moment sensory experience was the preferred mode of being that we were encouraged to cultivate. I just don’t buy it.

Fostering vivid presence, mindfulness, and being grounded in the body is absolutely vital. I have a regular meditation and yoga practice that assist me greatly in these excellent goals. However, I would argue that the experience of our inner world is not in principle problematic, and we unnecessarily give ourselves a hard time when we take on this belief. Further, our thoughts and emotions are no less “real” than sensorial experience. Consciousness and matter are energy, and that energy exists whether our five senses can detect it or not.

The danger in promoting the notion that our interior worlds are somehow invalid is that it may lead to unhealthy avoidance. This is what Robert Masters calls “spiritual bypassing”. This is the idea that we use our spiritual path and the primacy of transcendence to avoid dealing with our stuff. Let’s face it – it can be horribly unpleasant to deal with our stuff. Spiritual bypassing is a welcome reprieve. If we tell ourselves that it doesn’t count, we can ignore it. Unfortunately, it’s simply not true. We all know stories of spiritual teachers who spent decades working on their liberation to the exclusion of dealing with their shadow selves, and ultimately the chickens came home to roost. The shadow owns you, till you own it. The disowned self will kick your spiritual ass.

The real issue seems to me to be a question of balance. Instead of simply redirecting neurotic self-obsession into a fixation on sensory observation, I think it is more productive to explore what exactly constitutes a healthy, balanced, constructive use of attention and presence. What does that look like in the day-to-day? How do we achieve that? The various parts of our humanity need attention, nurturing, healing, and integration. Not exile. Not annihilation. My thoughts and feelings are real and should not be dismissed. Instead, how can I own them and work with them in a loving, transformative way? This reclaiming and integration is the path of redemption. This is the path of the soul.

How I Learned to Love My Monkey Mind

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credit: Oskar Henriksson

Have you ever been meditating only to find yourself completely overwhelmed and frustrated by the incessant, acrobatic gyrations of monkey mind? Some spiritual paths put a lot of emphasis on getting the little chimp under control. Or rather, getting better at being present, so he eventually decides to go sit in a corner and quietly amuse himself with a twig or leaf instead of bothering you. I don’t mean to pick on any of these well-intentioned traditions. The teachings aren’t the problem, it’s the way that we apply them. Namely, sometimes we put way too much pressure on ourselves.

Evolutionary psychology offers some insights that put the way I experience my inner world in context. As a result, I feel affection instead of exasperation towards my monkey mind, and showing the chimp a little love actually settles him down rather nicely. I wanted to share some of that wisdom from brain science as it applies to spiritual practice.

The human brain is the product of several iterations. The prototype reptilian brain is composed of the cerebellum and brainstem. These structures govern the five F’s: fight, flight, freeze, food, and the four-letter word that sounds like “fire truck”. These instinctual responses make our survival possible, and we should be very grateful to have them. But the reptilian brain can also get in the way of our best interests. For example, as I am writing this I notice that Katrina just posted a great piece about fear at Freedom to a Full Life that dovetails nicely with my point.

The limbic system developed with mammals. This governs the ability to feel emotions, and its healthy functioning includes dreaming. It enables mammals to form bonds and nurture young, which is unnecessary for reptiles (who lay eggs and set off to find a new partner to make more). The mammalian brain also enables the development of social groups, hierarchy, and the notion of status. Again, while I deeply appreciate the ability to form deep bonds and have feelings, I also see how this can get out of hand. And in so far as it amplifies reptilian drives with strong emotion and competitive status-seeking, the limbic system can get me into even deeper trouble.

Evolution came out with a new mammalian brain model via the primate neocortex. I think you can guess that this is where the monkey mind lives. The neocortex is akin to a computer – constantly processing permutations and combinations of information, including input from the reptilian brain and the limbic system. The primate brain is capable of generating scenarios, looking back into the past, or forward into the future. It weighs pros and cons, calculates probabilities, predicts consequences, and scientists speculate that this part of the brain is what makes free will possible.

What I appreciate about knowing this is that it shows me that many of my troublesome tendencies have their roots in ancestral ways of operating. Though evolution has added new elements, the old structures remain, as do certain unwanted patterns. When I understand where these patterns come from, they are easier to deal with. So I don’t have to beat myself up for eating that last piece of pie or missing my bus stop because I was daydreaming. Of course that doesn’t mean we get a free pass. It is not OK to simply shrug your shoulders and blame an affair on your reptilian brain. My point is that we can be a little more forgiving and gentle with ourselves for not being perfect when we understand and appreciate our less evolved parts. Fortunately, evolution is not done with us yet and has already provided a way to manage this motley inheritance.

We humans have a unique pre-frontal cortex or frontal lobes. This area performs what brain scientists refer to as “executive functions” like intentionality, purposefulness, and high level decision-making. This peculiarly human faculty involves the ability to override the less evolved parts of the brain. So there is no excuse for dismissing egregious mistakes as biological in origin. We actually do have the ability to know better and make wise choices. But when it comes to everyday slip-ups I think we can cut ourselves a little slack and thank our frontal lobes for the opportunity to do it right next time.

These days when monkey mind pays me a visit on the cushion I pat his furry little head and thank him for the ability to multitask, do my taxes, and remember a loved one who has passed. And then I choose to breathe in… and out.

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